Takes a lil' sunshine to make a seed grow.

Skyler, dear Skyler,

Some day you will ask me how you were born. You will want to know how you came to be. And, I won't bore you with stories about me and your father trying to translate the instructions for ovulation sticks from Dutch to English or how your dad switched from his "euro" man pants to boxers in hopes it would make a difference.

What I will tell you is that you are the product of the world's greatest romance. When you are 7 you will think it is enchanting, when you are 14 you will think it's gross and at 27 (and finally allowed to date) you will think it is worth striving for.

on our wedding day. timberline, oregon.

Although I have always believed in romance, and well scored movie endings, I was not a romantic person. In fact, despite the fact I have had a lot of boyfriends, I didn't really even like men very much. I didn't have any use for them.

adored. cheshire, uk.

As a little girl, I never dressed up as a bride. And, when we played "Pink Ladies" my imaginary boyfriend rode on the back of my Huffy bicycle, which was telling. My Barbie had trysts but she spent a lot of time in her Barbie office. She never got married. She didn't have time.

a quiet moment. savannah, georgia.

Before your Dad, I had several men want to spend their lives with me, five of them in fact. Once, I had a man take me into Tiffany's to try on rings. All I could say was "What the fuck are you doing?" as I bolted for the door, pissed off that he had not taken me in to buy me a keychain or a bracelet. That I could have coped with. I dumped him shortly there after.

in our flat. oud-west, amsterdam, netherlands.

In my youth I married someone briefly, and as I planned my wedding I was already planning my divorce. I just wanted to get it over with, because I felt like it was something I had to do. I let other people put their expectations on me with disastrous consequences.

I ended up with boots in my ribs and hands around my throat. Because of my poor choice, I was almost not here anymore. If I was not such a strong women, I would have missed my chance to become your mom. I will tell you this story not to scare you, but so you can learn from it. I don't want you to have to suffer at the hands of anyone else. And if you ever do, I will cut off his balls and hang them on my rearview mirror like fuzzy dice.

on the eve of our engagement. berlin, germany.

Even before that, the idea of being with someone forever used to make me ill. It made me feel like I could not breathe. I wanted to have a big career, travel the world, and make lots of money. I am smart, and ambitious, and in my experience boys don't want girls who can do better than they can. It makes them feel small. But, as you will learn one day, boys want you to be less than them but a true man will want you to be your best self. They will celebrate your success as if it were their own, because when you really love someone it is.

When I first saw your Dad, I could not put together good sentences. My brain felt all discombobulated. He had the best smile I had ever seen. He smiled with his whole self and it felt like sunshine when he cast one of those smiles my way. And, even now, after I have captured a million of those smiles in my butterfly net, I feel like my heart might explode every time I see one. I love seeing your Dad happy. I love that we make your Dad happy even more.

my first queen's day. amsterdam centrium, netherlands.

Your Dad, is a romantic. He makes me romantic, too. We write each other little notes and always think of the other person's needs first. Neither of us ever takes advantage of one another's giving nature. We do silly things, like save up all our money for months to buy one another gifts when we both would be happy with a thoughtful card. We pay attention to the small things. Like picking up chocolate muffins as a treat or the fact whoever brushes their teeth first puts toothpaste on the others brush for them. You will see this behavior as you grow up and expect it for yourself. You will think it is normal to have parents who are so crazy about each other. But, one day you will meet other kids where that is not the case and know you are lucky.

in my flat. amsterdam centrium, netherlands.

Your dad, he always knows what to say, while I am blunt and should just keep my foot firmly planted in my mouth. He is patient and thoughtful and no matter how much I give, he gives the same back. He is really hilarious and makes me laugh all the time. He likes the way my brain works and appreciates that I am smart. He likes me in heels as well as he likes me in my converse sneakers. He loves me as much in the morning time when I have pillow creases on my face as he does in the evening when I am perfectly done up.

He is an amazing person. And, even though you are too little to realize it yet, your Daddy is the best gift I will ever give you. He will be there to hold your hand when you get your ears pierced, he will come to your ballet recitals (or skateboarding competitions) and when you have your heart broken he'll be right there eating ice cream with us. He'll always be there. And, he loves you the same way he loves me- wholly and unconditionally- with his whole self. He will be the man that sets the standard for all other men you will meet. He will be your hero, just like he is mine.

besties. chester uk.

And, while the best gift I have ever given you is your Dad, the best gift he gave me is you. Because we decided, together, that we wanted to be a family of three. And, we held hands and crossed fingers each and every month hoping that you would come to us. Now that you are here, you are even better than we imagined.

our happy family. cheshire, uk.

At just 11 months old, you already have such life and personality. You laugh and smile with your whole self, warm as the sunshine. And, all I can think is that you come by it naturally.

And so, that is what I tell you when you ask me how you came to be.

I love you with all my heart, which has grown exponentially since I became your mother.

Forever and Always,

Mama